There’s things that need to be crafted that take forever and a day, and without a thrall to do the work, you’re going to spend that forever and a day crafting stupid little stuff that for whatever reason is way too important for the big stuff. This game has a whole subsystem devoted to “Thralls” aka slaves… And yeah, you’re going to need some. Well, it’s not as easy as you might think and pretty damn time-consuming. Capture and enslave naked chicks and then make them dance for you in your throne room. I’ve got a supply of iron, medium armor, and a nice little 2-story built… I know I mentioned something about slaves earlier and I had just gotten to the point where I’d captured my first and had her on the “wheel of pain” monkey-training device, and was hoping to turn her into one of my first “dancing girls.” Yeah.
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Pro-tip, press V.Īnd RAWR! Barbarian pussy! Oh, the things I’d been missing in the free cam mode… Now, that being said, at this point, I’ve progressed semi-decently into the game. Sadly, the camera seemed to be locked with regards to where you could view from… But it’s still a nice view.Ī while later, I inadvertently stumbled across free camera 3rd person mode. Rabbits, deer… Stuff to hunt that doesn’t necessarily fight back… Go forth, murder countless irrelevant mobs, collect loot, build some random stuff… Of course, there’s a 3rd-person view. One nice feature this game does have is animal life. Needless to say, there were freaks and monsters-a-plenty that I won’t bore you with the details of. ? Ahh, voluptuous barbarian problems… So, it was at this point that I began my journey into the unknown area I was dropped into.
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Well, I was going to start collecting stuff… But hell with it… I’ll just stare at my toes for a bit… No nail polish? Damnit, my tits are in the way. Time to spawn in… And listen to a long story about random stuff that I’ve already forgotten. The intro is kinda snazzy, and there’s not much VR to do yet because everything’s been menu-based so far. I do like the shape… But apparently, I’m a criminal… Strangling a money-lender, freeing slaves, and breaking the 4th wall? Yeah, I can live with that. TITTY SIZE!Īs you can see, you can have flappy little chimp tits or full-sized melons… Or anything in between… Maybe you want to play the sultry queen who has come to liberate the realm… Or maybe as the angry feminazi who hates the world because she keeps getting mistaken for a dude.
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You get pretty much all the same standard sliders here, but I’m only going to cover the only one that matters. Of course, there’s more! I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes when I roll RPGs, I get tired of staring at man-ass, so I play a female character.
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You can even change how big your character’s pecker is! That’s right folks, your own personal Conan can be a well-muscled, well-hung raging barbarian full of testosterone who has come to crush his foes and set right the evils of the world… Or he can have a baby dick that doesn’t even hang past his balls and just want revenge on the world for a lifetime of ridicule! Enslavement, human sacrifice, murder, and cannibalism are just another day in life. It’s in early access on steam, so there’s a lot of stuff missing, so it’s not really even a game yet, right? Wrong… At this point, it’s developed enough to where you can run around, meet the locals, murder them, enslave them, SACRIFICE THEM TO THE GODS, or if you’ve got the munchies… Eat them… And you can do it all butt-ass naked… That’s right, big dick swingin’ in the breeze while you leisurely stroll over dismembered corpses, or huge tits bouncing around as you run across the desert or through a jungle swinging your ax! Or, perhaps you prefer the opposite… Beefcake with a baby dick? Tiny chick with a flat chest? Whatever floats your boat… Starting off with Character Creation.Ĭharacter Creation is pretty standard – height, weight, physical features, etc… You can change the face, hair, eyes, nose, and all the generic stuff.
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Conan Exiles is the bastard offspring of Ark and Rust. It’s a game first, and a soft-core porn second. So why does that statement sound like this kinda backtracks over all of them? Well, first of all, this is an actual game it’s not all about porn, pussy, sausage, fucking, or what have you. CM3D2, Honey Select, VR Titties, La Douche, and several others. I’ve mentioned some other games that are clearly intended for porn, that obviously work with the Vive and Rift. Image credit: Conan Exiles A REAL game with porn is finally coming our way!